


strangers waiting, looking down the boulevard

by nqkedbooths



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: (as with every long fic tbh), (somewhat), (waddup i'm jared i'm 19 and i never fucking learned how to tag things properly), Alternate Universe, Angst, Comfort, Flirting, Humour, Insecurity, Jealousy, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of Prostitution, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Wrong number, unistudent!dan, university!dan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2018-12-17 09:33:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11848809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nqkedbooths/pseuds/nqkedbooths
Summary: [21:37] Unknown: Hey, I heard you were short of some change but offered certain services - I’ll pay you for one night with me; no strings attached, nothing dangerous.[21:39] Dan: i’m sorry, but do i look like a fucking prostitute?[21:40] Unknown: Wait, who are you?





	1. "Wait, who are you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo! This is my first ever chaptered fic - I don't know exactly how long it will be, but hey, go big or go home, right? Either way, I really hope you enjoy this story as it progresses! 
> 
> Title from Don't Stop Believing by Journey.
> 
> Inspired by [this prompt!](https://twitter.com/dnptexts/status/886620991174127618)

[21:37 ] Unknown: Hey, I heard you were short of some change but offered certain services - I’ll pay you for one night with me; no strings attached, nothing dangerous.

 

[21:39] Dan: i’m sorry, but do i look like a fucking prostitute?

 

[21:40] Unknown: Wait, who are you?

 

[21:41] Dan: who are YOU, some random stranger texting me at night asking me for a fuck?

 

[21:42] Unknown: Shit, I’m really sorry

[21:44] Unknown: I was told that this was the number for someone named Ariel, whose services I seek, but I get the feeling this is someone else

 

[21:45] Dan: the fuck?

[21:45] Dan: i’m a guy, i don’t even know an ariel

 

[21:46] Unknown: I really am sorry for disturbing you, I must sound like a massive creep

 

“Damn right, you do,” Dan mutters to himself, unsure whether to laugh or feel alarmed.

 

Okay, he won’t lie to himself, it is pretty funny. Maybe he’ll allow himself a little fun…

 

[21:49] Dan: how much?

 

[21:50] Unknown: What?

 

[21:50] Dan: how much were you willing to pay?

 

[21:51] Unknown: I can’t tell if you are admitting to being Ariel or just wanting to know the salary and in both cases, what the fuck

 

Dan snorts.

 

[21:52] Dan: sorry chap, but i’m not for sale so no to the former

 

[21:53] Unknown: …

[21:53] Unknown: Okay

 

[21:54] Dan: you could hit up a nightclub or something

[21:55] Dan: you could find plenty of girls there

[21:55] Dan: or dudes, or non-binary folk

[21:56] Dan: or aliens, if you’re into that

 

[21:57] Unknown: Idk if i’m into aliens

[21:57] Unknown: but if you find any let me know

[21:58] Unknown: Maybe they’ll take my social awkwardness and clumsiness as the height of sexiness

 

[22:00] Dan: i don’t think clumsiness would be a problem unless you stick it in the wrong hole

[22:02] Dan: but ngl i relate to the first trait a depressing amount

 

[22:05] Unknown: I’m just gonna pretend you didn’t say that first part

[22:07] Unknown: So you’re not one for clubbing or loud bars either?

 

[22:08] Dan: not really, no

[22:09] Dan: i mean sometimes when i’m feeling particularly adventurous

[22:10] Dan: or i just want a good fuck with someone that isn’t one of my classmates

 

[22:13] Unknown: Wait so you’re just a student?

[22:14] Unknown: And you’re already having sex?

 

[22:15] Dan: i’m a uni student, calm down mate

 

[22:16] Unknown: Ahhhh okay, I see

[22:17] Unknown: Because I was gonna say, if you’re underage you really should wait yk

 

[22:18] Dan: i feel like i’m getting lectured for something i didn’t do and i feel attacked

[22:19] Dan: although tbf there are a lot of teens out there who do need that talk

[22:21] Dan: wait hold on

[22:21] Dan: just to check yk

[22:22] Dan: you’re not a teen either, right?

 

[22:23] Unknown: What the fuck, no

 

[22:23] Dan: right…

[22:24] Dan: how old are u then?

 

[22:25] Unknown: Not much more than you, I’m within my twenties

 

[22:27] Dan: ah okay

[22:28] Dan: i mean for all i know you could be lying

 

[22:29] Unknown: for all I know YOU could be lying

 

[22:30] Dan: … touché

[22:32] Dan: fr though, if you want a fuck just go to a nightclub

[22:33] Dan: even with alcohol involved it will be a hell of a lot cheaper

[22:35] Dan: and if you drink enough you’ll be unable to remember it the next morning, which is good if the sex is shockingly bad

 

[22:36] Unknown: I may have laughed a little at that

 

[22:38] Dan: at the comment about being unable to remember bad sex, or the idea of you clubbing?

 

[22:39] Unknown: Both

[22:40] Unknown: No joke though I wouldn’t last a minute in a nightclub or bar or whatever

[22:42] Unknown: They’re too loud and with too many people

[22:43] Unknown: And all my friends are either attracted to girls, taken or just not interested

 

[22:44] Dan: what about making new “friends”?

 

[22:46] Unknown: I’m just gonna go ahead and admit that I almost never go outside, too much effort

 

[22:48] Dan: i would relate if i could, but i have to go outside to get to class unless i can learn to teleport

[22:49] Dan: and of course, my occasional round of sex

 

[22:52] Unknown: However occasionally you have sex, it’s guaranteed to be more frequently than me

 

[22:53] Dan: yeah i was gonna ask

[22:55] Dan: when WAS the last time you had sex?

[22:56] Dan: if you’re feeling desperate enough to try to ring up a prostitute it must have been a while

[22:57] Dan: wait no, ignore that

[22:57] Dan: sorry

[22:58] Dan: that was really invasive

 

[23:00] Unknown: Nah it’s fine

[23:02] Unknown: Honestly it was so long ago that it doesn’t matter how much I tell you

[23:03] Unknown: in the sense that it was long enough ago that there is no way my actions back then can reflect on me now

 

[23:06] Dan: …

[23:07] Dan: how long ago then?

 

[23:08] Unknown: The last time I had sex was with my ex-gf in uni…

[23:08] Unknown: so…

[23:09] Unknown: about six years ago

 

[23:12] Dan: mate

[23:12] Dan: how have you

[23:13] Dan: not had sex

[23:13] Dan: in six. fucking. years.

 

[23:15] Unknown: Now I’M the one being lectured

[23:16] Unknown: And like I said earlier, a combination of laziness and social awkwardness

 

[23:18] Dan: you shouldn’t let it hold you back that much jesus christ

 

[23:19] Unknown: You’re bullying me :(

 

[23:21] Dan: if it’s that bad just go to a fucking club, social awkwardness be damned

 

[23:23] Unknown: Easy for you to say, Casanova

 

[23:25] Dan: i’m hardly casanova, it’s just the occasional fuck

 

[23:26] Unknown: Define “occasional”

 

[23:28] Dan: i mean not that often cus i have my studies and whatnot

[23:29] Dan: maybe once every three or four weeks?

 

[23:30] Unknown: Remember that you’re speaking to someone about as sexually active as a rock

[23:30] Unknown: so to me, you’re basically Casanova-level

 

[23:32] Dan: fair point

[23:32] Dan: i am casanova

 

[23:33] Unknown: You are Casanova

 

[23:38] Dan: oh fuck

[23:38] Dan: i should have been asleep ages ago

[23:39] Dan: i have to go

 

[23:41] Unknown: Alright, old man

 

[23:43] Dan: mate if you’re as old as you say you are you’re closer to death than me

 

[23:45] Unknown: I mean you could die in a natural disaster or accident while I live on to be an old cat man

 

[23:46] Dan: honestly i welcome death

 

[23:47] Unknown: What

 

[23:48] Dan: goodnight

 

*

 

The lecture hall is too stuffy, as it always is, since no-one ever opens the puny windows tucked away near the ceiling - the professor claims that it’s because they should appreciate the summer warmth while they can, but Dan suspects it’s just laziness. Much to the students' detriment, for it’s only day three of what is expected to be a week-long heat wave.

 

Dan doesn’t want to be here. He’s known this since before he even started the course, but with each passing day his determination crumbles just that little bit more.

 

It’s not like he misses school, God forbid. In his experience, school translates to being tormented by students and teachers alike, social exclusion and near-infinite piles of notes and research, ninety percent of which he knew he would never use or remember. University, it turned out, was much the same - the only difference is that now he either spent Saturday nights in a stranger’s bed, or nursing a bad headache and deflated ego after being rejected by all the partygoers.

 

This is not the place for him, nothing about him or his wishes suit the college life. What he wants is convenience, fun and comfort; what he gets is expectations, work and restrictions.

 

It’s whenever he thinks like this that he tries to remind himself that at the end of all this he shall have a degree, but then a small voice in his head will always ask ‘What next?’. Because that is the thing: what comes next? He doesn’t want to while away the rest of his life in a dingy law office, bored and regretting everything, but right now that’s where it seems to be headed.

 

He knows that when the lecture finally ends he’ll plod back to his dorm room and sleep for the rest of the evening. He’ll wake up the next morning to a measly breakfast and a day no different to the one before. He’ll count down the days until the weekend, then he’ll count down the weekends until term ends, then he’ll count down the term endings until he graduates, and the cycle of counting down will go on and on until he has nothing to live for, no goals to work towards.

 

This lecture may be moving along too slowly, but everything else is moving too quickly.

 

Dan doesn’t want to be here. But then again, he has nowhere else to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short and simple chapter to ease you into the story, but as it progresses the chapters should get longer and the conversations more intense - this was just a taster as such.
> 
> Either way, I hope that you enjoyed this enough to be intrigued and want to find out what happens next, feedback through the form of kudos and comments would be greatly appreciated!! Have a good day :))
> 
> (btw I'm at [@quietsymphonies](https://twitter.com/quietsymphonies) on Twitter if you want to hmu :P)


	2. "Thank you for caring, it's more than most can say they've done for me."

[20:26] Unknown: What exactly did you mean when you said “honestly I welcome death”?

[20:27] Unknown: You’re not suicidal or anything, right?

[20:27] Unknown: Because there are loads of hotlines and people you can talk to if you need help

 

[20:28] Dan: well good evening to you too

[20:28] Dan: and no, i’m not suicidal

 

[20:29] Unknown: Okay, if you insist

 

[20:31] Dan: i do insist

[20:31] Dan: but thank you for caring

[20:32] Dan: it’s more than most can say they’ve done for me

 

[20:32] Unknown: :[[

[20:33] Unknown: Now I want to give you a hug

 

[20:33] Dan: i want to be hugged rlly badly ngl

[20:34] Dan: i don’t remember the last time i had a proper cuddle

[20:34] Dan: now i just feel sad

[20:35] Dan: although tbh that’s nothing new

 

[20:37] Unknown: I want to say the cliché “(your name) :[[“ but I just realised I don’t actually know your name

 

[20:38] Dan: smooth way of angling there, dear stranger

[20:39] Dan: i’m daniel, dan, whichever is most convenient

 

[20:41] Unknown: hm

[20:41] Unknown: I approve

 

[20:42] Dan: your approval is everything i desire in this world, truly

[20:43] Dan: and what about you? i get the feeling the nickname “dear stranger” will become wearisome soon

 

[20:44] Unknown: I’m Philip, Phil, whichever is most convenient

[20:44] Unknown: ;)

 

[20:46] Dan: oh god, we’re already at the winky face base

 

[20:46] Phil: Not that you’re complaining ;)

 

[20:47] Dan: STOP WITH THE WINKY FACES

[20:48] Dan: and YES I AM IN FACT COMPLAINING

 

[20:49] Phil: Alas, romance dies so quickly these days

 

[20:49] Dan: romance was never alive to begin with

 

[20:50] Phil: Ouch

[20:51] Phil: Apparently you consist of forty percent stamina and sixty percent cynicalness

 

[20:55] Dan: not even close

[20:56] Dan: less than one percent stamina, thirty-nine percent cynicalness and sixty percent self-doubt

 

[20:58] Phil: Damn

[20:59] Phil: How are you upholding your sex life if you only have one percent stamina tho

 

[21:01] Dan: see the thing about sex

[21:01] Dan: is that you kinda become a different person cus of it

 

[21:03] Phil: Yeah

 

[21:05] Dan: like

[21:05] Dan: it really helps you take your mind off things

[21:06] Dan: unless you’re great at multitasking, which i’m not

 

[21:06] Phil: Sure

 

[21:07] Dan: and of course it feels really good

[21:08] Dan: like it’s the only time i have exercise where i’m actually feeling energised and healthy

 

[21:09] Phil: Okay considering how dead my sex life is, you’re just being cruel now

 

[21:11] Dan: ;)

 

[21:12] Phil: This is why I say romance dies so quickly these days

 

[21:13] Dan: who said that this was romance

 

[21:14] Phil: Um

[21:14] Phil: Nvm

[21:15] Phil: Ignore that I said that

 

[21:15] Dan: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

[21:17] Phil: Did you really just lenny-face me

[21:17] Phil: Also how did you manage to send it so quickly

[21:18] Phil: Do you always have a Safari tab open so you can copy and paste it or

 

[21:19] Dan: i may or may not have it saved as a shortcut in my phone keyboard

 

[21:21] Phil: Jesus

 

[21:22] Dan: i hate to break it to you, phil

[21:23] Dan: but sadly i am not jesus

 

[21:25] Phil: You most likely commit too many sins to be Jesus

 

[21:26] Dan: i mean you’re not wrong but

[21:27] Dan: fuck you

 

[21:28] Phil: Your rant about sex got me in a certain mood so sure

 

[21:30] Dan: PHIL

 

[21:31] Phil: I know that’s not what you meant but

[21:31] Phil: ;)

 

[21:33] Dan: i’m actually going to leave

 

[21:34] Phil: NOOOOOOO

[21:35] Phil: COME BACK DANNY-BOY

 

[21:37] Dan: i wasn’t actually going to leave until you called me “danny-boy”

[21:38] Dan: suddenly i don’t know a phil

 

[21:39] Phil: Danny-boy - Casanova’s self-doubting, cynical AND fussy apprentice

 

[21:41] Dan: how dare u

[21:41] Dan: it’s not inaccurate but

 

[21:43] Phil: I’m just building my mental Dan-archive

 

[21:44] Dan: dan-archive? wow, i feel special

 

[21:45] Phil: You are

 

[21:47] Dan: fr though

[21:47] Dan: thanks for cheering me up

[21:48] Dan: my mind isn’t exactly a happy place, let’s put it that way

 

[21:49] Phil: It’s no problem

[21:49] Phil: We’ve only been chatting for two days but I already don’t like the thought of you feeling alone

 

[21:51] Dan: the sad reality of it is that i basically am

[21:52] Dan: no one i know is willing to deal with the mess that i am

[21:52] Dan: at least not for long

 

[21:53] Phil: Do you not have friends or family or tutors or someone like that?

 

[21:55] Dan: not really

[21:55] Dan: they don’t really have a great understanding of what goes on in my mind

[21:56] Dan: and even if they do, they are only willing to be around for the good times

[21:56] Dan: the partying, the sex if they’re one of my one-night-stands, the louder part of me

 

[21:58] Phil: Could you not go and get counselling?

[21:59] Phil: Ngl it sounds like you might need it

 

[22:00] Dan: idk

[22:01] Dan: i don’t think i have the funds to pay for enough sessions

[22:01] Dan: and even if i did, i kinda feel like i’m overreacting a bit

[22:02] Dan: like i don’t wanna be that person who diagnoses themselves with mental health issues that they don’t have

 

[22:04] Phil: I’m aware that I barely know you, but I don’t feel like you’re overreacting

[22:06] Phil: I’ve dealt with my fair share of self-diagnosers, the ones who don’t actually have any big mental issues, and believe me when I say that they make much more of an effort to ham up their apparent issues

[22:07] Phil: You, on the other hand, don’t ham anything up - if anything, you seem reluctant to discuss it in a way

 

[22:09] Dan: i guess

[22:10] Dan: idk, i just don’t want to waste resources when they could be used on people who are confirmed to have issues, whose lives depend on them

 

[22:12] Phil: You wouldn’t be wasting resources, not if you would actively benefit from them

[22:13] Phil: Just because you’re not in a worst-case scenario doesn’t mean you have to go alone

[22:13] Phil: That’s like saying you’re not entitled to eat because there are people around the world who are about to die of starvation

 

[22:15] Dan: well no, not exactly

[22:15] Dan: everyone needs food to live so i’m not about to give that up

 

[22:16] Phil: Good mental health is just as important as a good diet

[22:16] Phil: You need your brain as much as your body

 

[22:18] Dan: fair point

[22:19] Dan: fine, i’ll consider it

[22:19] Dan: no promises though

 

[22:21] Phil: Thank you, really

[22:22] Phil: I just want you to be able to say that you’re built on more than self-doubt and solitude

 

[22:24] Dan: i’ve been built on those things for years now, i doubt it’s gonna change any time soon

 

[22:25] Phil: That doesn’t mean it will never change

[22:25] Phil: The only way it will change is if you try and don’t give up

 

[22:27] Dan: you sound like that one cheesy pastoral teacher from primary school who everyone found low-key annoying but secretly knew they were right

 

[22:28] Phil: I don’t know if that is a compliment or not so I’ll just go with it

[22:28] Phil: but I hope you’re getting the message

[22:29] Phil: You need professional help, and you shouldn’t hold yourself back just because others have it worse

 

[22:31] Dan: okay, okay, mom

 

[22:32] Phil: I’m being serious

 

[22:32] Dan: i know you are

[22:33] Dan: i’m not exactly the most comfy with serious discussions, especially when they’re about me

 

[22:34] Phil: I’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable :[

[22:34] Phil: I just feel like it’s something that needs to be said

 

[22:35] Dan: it’s fine, really

[22:35] Dan: it’s my fault for not being good with this stuff

[22:36] Dan: i’m probably going to go to bed now, it’s not exactly been a great day

 

[22:38] Phil: Okay :[ will you be alright?

 

[22:39] Dan: believe it or not, i can actually get myself to bed safely, phil

 

[22:40] Phil: You know what I meant

 

[22:41] Dan: sorry

[22:42] Dan: and yes, i will be okay

[22:42] Dan: i just need to sleep off the negativity

 

[22:44] Phil: Okay, if you insist

[22:45] Phil: but you know that I’m right here if you need someone to chat to, right?

 

[22:45] Dan: yes, i do

[22:45] Dan: thank you

[22:46] Dan: same rule applies for you, if you ever need someone

 

[22:47] Phil: You’re welcome

[22:47] Phil: and thank you

[22:48] Phil: Sleep well, ‘kay?

 

[22:49] Dan: hopefully, you do too

[22:50] Dan: bye

 

*

Three nights later, Dan is sprawled out on a stranger’s set of sheets, in a stranger’s bed, with a stranger inside him.

 

It’s by no means surprising - it’s basically routine at this point, after all - but it doesn’t make it any less enjoyable.

 

He’s grasping at the sheets and his toes are curling, a gasp accompanying each time the stranger pushes into him.

 

The stranger in question? Right now, Dan can’t remember his name and he can’t be arsed to care or question it, but what he does know is that the man above him knows what he is doing - the way he is nibbling and licking at his neck, moving in and out slowly enough to be tantalising but quickly enough to scratch the itch (for now), not to mention the way he’s hitting that one spot practically every time…

 

Yeah, Dan could get used to this, but that’s the issue.

 

The idea behind a one-night-stand is that it only lasts one night - he doesn’t belong to whoever ends up taking him home that night, and likewise they do not belong to him. It’s one night, one evening for a good fuck, and then that is it - no exchanging numbers, no “can I see you again?”, no promise of a future.

 

It was never a question of “will they still want me after?”, he realised that pretty quickly when starting this routine. It was always a question of “how long will it take before they expect me to leave?”.

 

His climax takes him by surprise when it finally arrives, eliciting a loud moan and a lot of shuddering. His partner arrives at the same conclusion shortly afterwards, burying his face in the other’s neck and groaning as his thrusts become more sporadic until coming to a total stop. He collapses on top of him and they both pause all activity to catch their breaths.

 

Now this, this is when Dan feels most alive - lust and endorphins raging through him, in the arms of someone who desires him, far away from the troubles that plague his everyday life. Alas, it only ever lasts a few seconds, but it’s the intensity of those precious few seconds that makes it all worth it.

 

The stranger pulls out and rolls sideways onto the mattress. He has a pretty damn attractive face, featuring a strong jaw and ruffled-up sandy-blonde hair - Dan allows himself a moment to observe. If this night is to end like the rest, he won’t have much longer to look - since the deed is done, it really doesn’t matter how he appears anyway.

 

The man rolls onto his side to look at Dan. Now that the arousal has passed it is easy to see that his eyes are a muted muddy-brown, kind of bland and overall not terribly interesting. Probably like the man himself, although they hadn't exactly had enough time to worship each other's personalities before making out in the corner of a dingy bar, so Dan wouldn't know.

 

He knows what conversation is about to follow, it's always at about now that the bomb is dropped. Sometimes he hopes for something different - an invitation to stay the night, some post-coital cuddles, even just one last kiss - but he's since learnt that wishful thinking achieves nothing, it just makes him hurt a little more.

 

He clears his throat. "I should probably get going - thank you for tonight, I had fun." He knows the drill, he's done it probably a hundred times before.

 

His partner grunts - it's not a "get the hell out of my house", but then again it's not a confession of deep attraction coupled with a request to see him again. It's merely an acknowledgement.

 

Dan clambers off the bed and reaches for the various articles of clothing he'd tossed aside not so long ago. He gets dressed quickly, pats his pockets for his phone and wallet, then looks back at the bed one last time. The other man is watching him with lazy but somewhat wary interest, sheets now covering everything below his torso. Dan nods his head in farewell, before leaving the bedroom and the flat not long after.

 

It’s not the idea of that man being his that makes him sentimental, it’s just the idea of _someone_ being his - although he supposes that if it’s not this man he’s thinking of, he wouldn’t be suitable anyway.

 

It’s the same routine - get drunk, get forgetful, get laid, then get overwhelmed by the sentiment. It’s not healthy, he knows this, but even if the relief he gets from sex is brief it’s still there and it still helps.

 

He thinks.

 

Truthfully, he doesn’t know anymore.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it wasn't Phil in bed with him kjghskfjghk, I'm not treating you guys THAT early! (Can't go wrong with some angsty smut, can you?)


	3. "Don't miss me too much." "My heart is positively aching."

[13:48] Phil: I think I might have made a new friend today

 

[13:51] Dan: getting to level 2 friendship with an animal crossing character doesn’t count, phil

 

[13:53] Phil: Ouch

[13:53] Phil: does level 6 count?

 

[13:54] Dan: hm

[13:54] Dan: doubtful

 

[13:56] Phil: :[

[13:57] Phil: Okay but fr I actually went outside for once and quite literally bumped into some woman

[13:57] Phil: it was really dramatic, she dropped her folders and everything

 

[13:58] Dan: just like a really cheesy fanfic

[13:58] Dan: nice

 

[14:00] Phil: Off topic but

[14:00] Phil: would I by chance be correct if I said I’ve finally found a fellow nerdy friend in you

 

[14:01] Dan: by chance you would indeed be correct

[14:01] Dan: it was the animal crossing ref that blew my cover wasn’t it

[14:02] Dan: i’ve been exposed

 

[14:04] Phil: I’d continue the roleplay and express deep shame in you but like

[14:04] Phil: same

 

[14:05] Dan: *deep trailer announcer voice* in a worlddd, where two lonely nerds, find each other through their extreme dependence on non-existent anthropomorphic characters

 

[14:06] Phil: I mean technically we found each other through my desperation for sex

[14:06] Phil: but same difference I guess

 

[14:07] Dan: uh

[14:07] Dan: those are two very different circumstances

[14:08] Dan: unless you’re trying to tell me through combining the two that you’re a furry

 

[14:10] Phil: I’m

 

[14:11] Dan: it’s okay, phil

[14:12] Dan: i promise i won’t kinkshame

[14:12] Dan: cus, like, same

 

[14:14] Phil: I can clarify that to my knowledge I’m not a furry

 

[14:14] Dan: ‘to my knowledge’

 

[14:15] Phil: but thank you for your confession that I absolutely did not need to know about you

 

[14:15] Dan: you’re welcs

[14:16] Dan: at this point i think it’s safe to say there are no boundaries between us

 

[14:17] Phil: Yep

[14:17] Phil: thank you for your contribution to such a phenomenon

 

[14:19] Dan: :-]

[14:20] Dan: also look at you with the big words, you nerd

 

[14:23] Phil: That’s what three years of studying linguistics gets you

[14:24] Phil: knowledge of ‘big words’

 

[14:25] Dan: shutup

[14:25] Dan: what i’m learning from this is that we each want what the other has: i want a degree and the motivation that comes with it, you want sex

 

[14:26] Phil: I mean technically I have two degrees

[14:26] Phil: but I’d still be up for a swap

 

[14:27] Dan: oh fucking hell

[14:27] Dan: i can never compete for dominance now

 

[14:29] Phil: What kind of dominance are we talking about here tho

 

[14:30] Dan: can you keep it in your pants for like one minute

 

[14:32] Phil: I’ve been keeping it in my pants for six years

[14:32] Phil: what do you want from me

 

[14:33] Dan: your will to live

[14:34] Dan: and one of your degrees while we’re at it

[14:34] Dan: there are enough to go around for both you and lil ol’ daniel

 

[14:35] Phil: If you give me your body and your tolerance for loud places it’s a deal

 

Church bells ring in the distance, disrupting Dan’s train of thought and pulling his gaze from the iMessage chat log onto the little 14:35 perched at the top of the screen. 

 

Two more lectures today and then he is free for the rest of the week but, effort. It takes effort to walk, it takes effort to carry all his supplies back and forth across the campus grounds, it takes effort to pay attention to the tutor’s robotic droning.

 

The thing is that if he doesn’t go today,  _ more _ effort will be required the  _ next _ time. Ugh, the joys of procrastination.

 

_ I might as well get it out of the way,  _ he concludes, promptly followed by, _ who am I becoming, working on time? _

 

[14:37] Dan: i gtg but like

[14:37] Dan: save that thought for later

 

[14:38] Phil: Don’t miss me too much

 

[14:39] Dan: my heart is positively aching

 

*

 

The thing Dan had realised pretty quickly about studying law is that yes, there is some serious cash to be made out of it, and yes, one may at times get to be involved in some real dirt that honestly could be inspiration for the BBC’s next big drama series, but to claim that that’s the whole reality is simply romanticising it. Or at least in his experience — if he’d known it would be mostly endless stacks upon stacks of notes on fucking mortgages and maybe the occasional mention of petty crimes, at least so far, he wouldn’t have even touched the course with a ten-metre-long stick. 

 

To be fair, he knows that he really should have taken the initiative to actually research what the course involved before diving in head first, but it doesn’t make his consequential suffering any sweeter.

 

Thankfully the windows in this lecture hall are open, but for all the stagnant hot air in this wretched country and its wretchedly polarised weather, it makes little difference. His eyes are drooping not twenty minutes in, embarrassingly loud yawns escaping his mouth. Oh well, who needs the approval and respect of tutors, anyway?

 

One of his traditional ways of keeping himself entertained is to bet on which fellow students will crash first and how quickly — today, however, he is so close to being seduced by the tendrils of sleep himself that he’s lost count.  _ Fucking hell. _

 

He could text someone but he knows that once he starts there is no stopping him, he’s that desperate for captivation, and as much as he hates what he has to learn he might as well _ try _ to attain decent marks.

 

Sighing to himself, he picks up his pen and starts to scrawl random notes. This is going to be yet another long afternoon.

 

*

 

[17:56] Dan: i’m bored out of my mind

[17:56] Dan: entertain me

 

[17:59] Phil: Aw, poor Danny-boy

[18:00] Phil: also, demanding

[18:00] Phil: rude

 

[18:01] Dan: actually nvm

[18:01] Dan: i’ll just be over here trying to give myself a pitiful back massage while you send me verbal abuse

 

[18:02] Phil: Day was that bad, huh?

[18:02] Phil: Also is that a euphemism or

 

[18:03] Dan: jfc not everything is about sex with me

[18:04] Dan: i’m too young and innocent for that

 

[18:04] Phil: I beg to differ

 

[18:05] Dan: fuck you

[18:05] Dan: and don’t you fucking dare act like i meant that in a different context

 

[18:07] Phil: Ouch

[18:07] Phil: pissy Danny is rearing his head out of his cave

 

[18:08] Dan: what are you on about with ‘pissy danny’ that’s me all the time

 

[18:09] Phil: Too real

 

[18:11] Dan: okay but for real

[18:11] Dan: get me the fuck out of this hellscape

 

[18:12] Phil: language, Daniel

[18:12] Phil: such strong words for such a wee boy

 

[18:13] Dan: don’t

[18:14] Dan: i’m suffering daily as it is and yet you’re bullying me

 

[18:16] Phil: Still up for that swap?

[18:16] Phil: one of my degrees and some motivation for your body and social confidence

 

[18:17] Dan: i cannot comply

[18:17] Dan: what you think i can offer is false advertising

[18:18] Dan: it would not be fair on you ://

 

[18:19] Phil: You scammer

[18:20] Phil: after all this time, ie a week

[18:20] Phil: I thought I could trust you

[18:21] Phil: I needed that sexy body and confidence with my entire being

 

[18:22] Dan: did you just call me ‘sexy’

[18:22] Dan: wow, phil

[18:23] Dan: you’re a filthy liar but thank you

 

[18:24] Phil: Who’s to say I’m lying?

 

[18:25] Dan: you don’t even know what i look like

 

[18:25] Phil: shush >:[

[18:26] Phil: Okay but fr I was just trying to be logical

 

[18:28] Dan: …?

 

[18:29] Phil: My point is that

[18:29] Phil: surely Casanova’s apprentice would have to be at least decently sexy?

 

[18:30] Dan: nope, not always

[18:30] Dan: i am living proof of that

[18:31] Dan: girls aren’t into me cus i don’t look ‘manly’ enough

[18:32] Dan: dudes who are into me are only so cus i look like a fucking twink

 

[18:33] Phil: Oh

[18:33] Phil: wow

 

[18:34] Dan: yeah

[18:34] Dan: fun times innit

 

[18:36] Phil: Please never say ‘innit’ again

[18:36] Phil: it doesn’t suit your articulate manner

[18:37] Phil: but for real, Dan

 

The grey speech bubble in the corner keeps on undulating and undulating; the more time passes, the more Dan chews his lip nervously. He’s never been good with serious talks, the necessity for scrutiny and blatant honesty isn’t compatible with the desire to shield himself from any potential judgement, and yet here he is.

 

He’s just gone to his phone’s home screen to play some mindless game when finally, the familiar  _ ding _ of an incoming text sounds out. He clicks on the notification:

 

[18:39] Phil: I’m sure you look fine. I won’t make you tell or show me what you look like because it’s your body and more to the point we barely know each other, but from what I *do* know about you I can tell you’re a pretty cynical and self-deprecating guy, so I’m like 99% sure you’re just downplaying yourself. and if I’m wrong and you’re not particularly good-looking, I really wouldn’t think any less of you. you’re you, whether you could be considered eye candy or not

 

_ Fuck. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHO'S BACK, BACK AGAIN  
> GUESS WHO'S BACK, TELL A FRIEND
> 
> okay but for real i'm so fucking sorry that i haven't updated this as of late, earlier i was looking through my account and i was sitting there thinking, "wait was that september? ohhhhhh... shit". i've been dealing with a lot of issues irl (as we all do) but i'm hoping i should have more time now that the holiday season is upon us!
> 
> (and yes i am giving up on the guise that i use any caps when not typing fics or reports or similar, for someone who hates incorrect grammar i am horrible with capitalisation) (what the fuck am i talking about) (i'll stop) 
> 
> again, i'm sorry for the long delay, but i'll try harder to keep a consistent update schedule! i hope this helps to make up a little for the wait :)
> 
> i do have tumblr, which is the same as my username here, but i'm much less active there so if you wanna get close and intimate *wink wonk* your best bet is finding me on twitbook (half of twitter is full of twits, simply looking at how many people follow donald trump is evidence of that), my acc is [@quietsymphonies](https://twitter.com/quietsymphonies) :)
> 
> i hope you enjoy, and remember to hydrate! (saying this cus i spent half my writing session hacking my lungs out due to the cold/chest infection i've succumbed to that could have been avoided had i been drinking enough) look after yourselves, babs! <3


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